the woes of an Airplane Traveller


Returning to india after many years has opened my eyes about the new cheap and easy mode of travel……Airplanes.
Airports no longer seem to be places only frequented by people who can afford it all. They are rather more like a gathering of the masses. Very frankly speaking I did not find much difference between the local bus terminus and the New Delhi domestic airport.
Very cheap air tickets are readily available online and usually the prices of these tickets are comparable to the second class rail fares.
The sights and sounds of the airport and airplane are quite a scene to watch and often hilarious.
During a recent flight from Delhi to Pune, the lovely lady in front of me was under the impression that she had probably paid for the entire row of seats.While it is the airlines fault that seating space has become smaller and smaller, that does not give passengers the right to simply recline their seats without regard to the person behind them. Inspite of my repeatedly telling her to adjust her seat, she still sat like “Her Royal Highness“resulting in me sitting with the tray table inside my tummy and my sandwich inside my nose for the entire duration of the 2 hour flight.
While on the flight, we meet  the “loo lovers”.They will insist on frequenting the bathroom after every half an hour disturbing your peace of mind especially if you are in the idle or aisle seat.If you know that you are prone to go to the restroom several times during the course of a flight, you should make sure that you obtain a seating assignment near the restroom such as in the rear of the aircraft. Simply asking for such an assignment during the booking process will help ensure a smoother flight.
Most flights have at least over one hundred people on the flight Please be mindful of them as you would have them be mindful of you after the flight restrooms are used.
Another kind of annoying travellers are the “Personal Groomers” these travellers will use all the available time during the flight to indulge in personal beautification.Personal grooming such as clipping your finger and toe nails or washing body parts should be done before you board the flight.  On the other hand are also the ones who have not bathed or brushed in days and are not an easy sight to see or share your next seat with. The fellow travellers who smell like they have stepped out of a perfume factory are also a torture to ones nose and lungs…..ughhhh
The sick people who “Should Be In Quarantine”
There is nothing like being stuck in an aircraft for several hours with someone who has the flu or other illness which causes coughing and sneezing the entire flight. Yes Sir, Your germs do spread and it is not nice to share them with other passengers. I do not want them at all. Please keep them with you.
The “Chatterboxes” No, I do not wish to know how your Europe trip was and I am absolutely not interested in knowing about your Uncles Cousins daughters destination wedding.Some people do not wish to be social while on a flight. If you are chatty, you should bring a friend but also be aware that other passengers may simply want to sleep during the flight.
The book stealers”……I do not wish to share my book with you and in the process smell your mouth and body odors.Just because seating is tight does not mean that you have lean to read everything in eyesight. It is simply rude to read over someone’s shoulder; bring your own book!
The Obnoxious traveller”If you are in a bad mood, you should keep it to yourself. The flight crew is not there to simply serve you and only you. Mr. X ,on my. Flight from Frankfurt to Delhi had his finger glued to the call bell and insisted on being served on a golden platter. If you are I the bad habit of ring served all the time, please do ensure that you travel with your personal chef and maid. Please keep your rude comments to yourself and try being polite for a change. It might make you a more presentable person.
The drunks”There is a difference between having a drink to take the edge off or settle your nerves, and being completely wasted for your flight. Drunk passengers can pose a safety risk to the flight.
The rude rugrats”Children behaving badly can also be a flight risk as it draws too much attention from the flight attendants. Please know how to sedate or entertain your children during the flight. Wild children running loose on a flight cause a safety risk and are a great disturbance to other passengers.
The luggage rack hoggers” Travelling light is the need of the hour. Insisting on travelling with your entire house in tow and then thinking that the entire overhead bin is only meant for you is absolutely rude. If you are the last person to use the overhead bin please do not crush everyone’s baggage as you put away your own.

Having said all this…..I still am eager to embark on many many more new journeys and adventures. And am looking forward to adding to my musings with tales about my fellow humans.


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